Loser, by definition is someone “who is incompetent or unable to succeed”, “loses a game, contest, etc.”, or “who is not successful, attractive, etc”.
Clearly we don’t want to be losers. There are probably books by the thousands that tell you how to be a winner.
Now, humanity is already winning: we are fighting natural selection quite all right, our world is more peaceful than it used to be, and your problems are way less dramatic than your grandparents’ issues. [Not to mention the difference between your and the average Joe’s (Li, Ali, Jesus, Pedro, Priyanka, etc.) living standards.]
But, compared to your neighbours probably you are not much of a winner here. And when you go out for a contest it’s unlikely you’d win in anything. And something easy to say but difficult to keep in mind: as long as you compare yourself to others you’ll always remain a loser. Even if you suddenly won the lottery or got some superpower to run really fast or became a Formula1 driver you are likely to wish for something you still wouldn’t have (the greener grass, more beautiful wife, blonder daughter, the more supporting in-laws and what-not).
The only person really worth fighting against is yourself. By nature fighting for something (let it be your body weight or your country) is difficult while fighting against something is easier.
Fighting for elimination – getting rid of your evil side (including trying to be better than others) is a healthy approach.
Don’t fight for Fight for
– being the richest guy in the neighbourhood -> having enough money
– having the perfect body -> feeling good looking in the mirror
– having the coolest friends -> keeping your friend
– being happy -> making important people happy
The outside world is just a reflection inside you.
Take me, for example. I’m certainly a bit of a weirdo and have been for decades by now. I don’t have expensive clothes or new phones, I rather work by myself than manage a team, I wore my suit once a year, I rarely get invited to weddings, I prefer my bike to my 10 year old car, I’ve never used Twitter, I don’t know how does Cameron Diaz look like. Tough luck. But this is how I like to live.
Being a weirdo doesn’t make me a winner – or a loser.
Being mainstream doesn’t make you a winner – or more of a loser either.
It’s a bit like an inner identity that you can decide for yourself: how much of a winner/loser am I? How much am I happy with my actions? How much does my life represent my beliefs?
As long as you’re happy with what you feel, you shouldn’t care too much about the rest – just keep on going.
Chances are that you’ll become a “winner” or “hero” in others’ eyes sooner or later. What can I say? The one thing that really matters here is what you see in the mirror, looking quietly into your own eyes.
So, is it okay to be a loser?
Well, I certainly hope it is, because we all are losers. We’ve had our moments down and we don’t always emerge victorious. We don’t have the perfect bodies, unlimited money and power, the Hollywood-type friends, the best family – and millions of other things. And we don’t have perfect control of our minds.
We are human: we are flawed. We all are losers. It’s good to acknowledge and work on what we can – and do improve.