Are you following your or someone else’s dreams?

Since I’m a somewhat conscious person (~age 14) I’ve had dreams.
For more than 10 years they were mainly “negative” dreams: actions and thoughts I desired against something.
They included:
– NOT being like my parents
– NOT doing a 9-5 job
– NOT getting a prestigious and boring job (lawyer, any PhD, finance, medical doctor, etc.)
– NOT taking too much responsibility
– NOT having children and starting a family
– NOT doing things that stop me from having enough free time
– NOT having a lot of expenses so I don’t have to work all the time
– NOT having a boss
– NOT being worried about money
– NOT developing habits
– etc.

Negative dreams are easier to have, probably because basic human nature is set for reaction:
– I DON’T WANT TO FEEL HUNGER
– I DON’T WANT TO FEEL FEAR
– I DON’T WANT TO FEEL LUST
– I DON’T WANT TO FEEL DISCOMFORT
– I DON’T WANT TO SEE MY CHILD FEEL ANY OF THIS
– etc.

Now, the modern world has done a good job by helping us out with our basic needs. It’s certainly easier for us not to be hungry, afraid, lustful, discomforted than our ancestors used to have it a thousand – or even a hundred years ago. The world is becoming a better place.

And it’s great that you are doing better than “the poor in the world”, you’ve had a better childhood than “the starving children in Africa” and you’re luckier than your next door neighbour. But having positive dreams and going after them is beyond of our basic / deficit needs.
Health can be more than the absence of diseases.

Positive dreams are tricky.

If you have them, people will often think something is wrong with you. You are not satisfied with what you have. You can not appreciate and be grateful enough. Why on Earth would you work hard to get somewhere when your (basic) needs are fulfilled? Why would you self-fulfill? What is self-development anyways?

I often hear that I should be more grateful for what I have. (And I’m trying too!)
But being grateful and reaching further don’t always coincide. And reaching further will mean you accomplish small dreams of people and leave them behind. Success and reaching your dreams can easily make you isolated.

I was very successful in my negative dreams: never had a 9-5 workplace, never had a prestigious and/or boring job, had unlimited free time at times, lived under 1 USD a day and traveled for under 4 USD a day, etc.

Positive dreams are a whole different story. Even setting them has been very difficult. Going down to my basics as much as I could and trying to figure out what I want wanted has taken up hundreds if not thousands of hours of my time.
But again – why to give up on a plan that takes 8 or 13 or 20 years to accomplish if those years will pass anyway!?

One of the difficult parts of the plan is to realize that no matter how much I was fighting against:
– I’m still like my parents in many ways.
– I take a lot of pleasure from intellectual masturbation: I love to read books and watch movies.
– I did go back to finish a master’s program because I missed university.
– No matter how boring it sounds I am a monogamous  person just like my parents.
– No matter how how boring it sounds, habits do work and to reach something long term it’s a good way to commit to some.
– …

Then finding yourself in the middle of an ocean of opportunities where you need to find your direction. People, even those who love you, can not tell you the exact direction.
Finding a direction in a world where you can be an astronaut, a physical worker, an unemployed mammone, a blog writer, a model, a plumber, a hobo, a software developer and what-not is difficult. And this is only the job part…

There is no one in this world that follows only his own dreams. If you are able, follow your important dreams. If you lack means to do that, let it be motivation, money, strength, dedication, etc. – step in the line and be part of someone’s dream where you can be proud that you are part of something bigger. There’s one Elon Musk – and over 35.000 employees behind him. I have a dream to make Europeans travel. But this is just one of my many plans: and I’m happy to be part of the #Freeinterrail project: something I would have never come up with. I’d like to help the poor and unfortunate in my country: but I’m better off giving money for the right organisations.

All in all? Ask yourself this evening: Am I closer to my dreams with today’s actions? If the answer is yes today and it will be tomorrow too, you are on the good way…

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