In war and love (and in solving your serious issues) all is fair.
This could easily become a very stupid post about having a super-solution for any problem you might have.
But this post is about very few issues only: the most serious ones. Most of your problems are easy-peasy first world problems that can be solved either in one step (Ruthlessly execute right now! e.g. take the trashes down!) or in 6 or 7 single steps that you can learn from some articles here, here or here.
They go down to something like this:
1. Identify your problem
2, Accept it / Face it
3, Ask for help
5, Move on
6, Remember the lessons learned
7, Be ready for other problems
And this is how I will solve some of my issues today:
– taking the trashes down
– read and answer some emails
– finding a suitable movie for tonight
– designing the poster for the next trip I’m advertising
While there are the bigger, more constant issues that define our lives that are very-very difficult to handle. They are as important as anything can be in life.
You are not able to face it. You can not deal with it. External help doesn’t help. It seems to have an effect on your identity. It slowly defines your way of thinking and actions.
1, you choose to accept that these problems will play and incredibly huge part in your life
2, you choose THE ULTIMATE SOLUTION: RUN AWAY!
Might sound a bit silly but it actually is a way that really works.
Running away = changing ourselves = travel and live differently = think outside of the box is a very difficult but efficient way to deal with a real, constant problem that has outgrown you.
I’ve been in a relationship for 7 years. Those who’ve been there and done that know that it’s not always easy. At a time when things didn’t look too good I explained my issues to a friend and added at the end: “But I know these are all first world problems.” She asked back: “But this is your life! How can you say that?”
I can say and mean this by having some perspective. This is the greatest benefit of all my time, energy and money invested in over 500 days of private traveling in life. It goes down to the deep realization of this:
So my ultimate advice is this:
You have a radical problem? Have a radical solution for it!
Run away, put your life in perspective and when you did, do come back and make a positive change.
We don’t like to think about it but we all are completely replaceable. Temporarily even more replaceable. Yes. Absolutely.
The ultimate solution? If you have no way to face your problem, put it in a perspective.
Do it in a far away place where you know no one. Where you have no idea of the culture, traditions and shit. Put your life and problem into a perspective in Southern Laos, Central Bolivia, rural Morocco or North-East Hungary.
There might be problems outgrowing you right now. I have one right now too. Solving these issues by putting them into perspective make us more effective people.
The first huge issue that outgrew you might have been trying to initiate a conversation with your first love. The ones to come might include founding a business or being a good parent or running a Marathon.
Getting stuck at a certain phase of life is something we’ll all have to deal with – eventually. But this could be 10, 30 or even 50 or 60 or 70 years from now. A lot of time. My 89 year old grandma’s just started to actively improve her English!
You know, the better we get to know ourselves, the more knowledge we gather the more powerful we’ll be to make the changes we long for.
Give it a try. Run away from your huge problems and return with a new point of view.
People that matter will miss you and wait for you. People that don’t matter will forget about you.
Give it a try!